Darcy Isn't Useless (Or, The List (Part Two))
by wixley-kryptonese
Summary: 103. "Nothing happened okay? I just…" – ft. Darcy Lewis, Steve Rogers and Peggy and Sharon Carter {Part Two}


103\. "Nothing happened okay? I just…" – ft. Darcy Lewis, Steve Rogers and Peggy and Sharon Carter

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"Скотч…скотч, скотч, скотч…" Darcy muttered, frowning. Where the hell was she supposed to get tape from? If you wanted stationary in America, you could just go to a Walmart and get a heap of it for minimal dosh, but she was in Britain, so where could she get tape from? "Tesco, maybe?" But no, she knew that all Tesco's were different – some were groceries, some were banks, she'd never be able to figure out where to get tape from before the shops closed.

Sighing, the young woman rubbed her forehead, looking at the literal backpack of things she'd collected for Peggy Carter. Obviously, she recognised the name. Peggy Carter, finest Agent of the SSR and co-founder of SHIELD with Howard Stark, and inspiration to many over the past few decades. To find out she had Alzheimer's and was staying in a nice little pensioners home in Britain was an eye-opening revelation for Darcy.

However, she did wonder why she wasn't in some lock-up rather than that middle-class complex – because the stuff Peggy asked for was insane and in some cases, downright strange. Even Darcy, master of escaping situations – and houses, and universities, and basically anywhere up to but also including a SHIELD lock-box – didn't know what Peggy Carter would do with bright scarlet nail polish, red carpet lipstick, a male porn magazine, two stuffed animals bigger than a medium-sized suitcase and a Nerf Gun Ultimate.

"I'll ask someone," she decided firmly, before turning into a random shop with a blue sign stating it was 'WHSmith'. Immediately she stopped, because _stationary_. "I'm in stationary heaven," Darcy realised, before smiling and determinedly searching through the aisles, picking up a few pukka pads for Jane while she was at it.

She was in line to buy her items when two familiar bodies flanked her.

"Hey Steve, Sharon, how you doing?" She asked cheerfully. Sharon gave her items a look, and she shrugged. "Jane goes through her notepads like crazy. These'll keep her sated for a month or two."

"And the tape?" The blonde questioned. "We saw you across the street, Steve said you were saying скотч – I didn't know you took lessons in Russian."

Darcy waved her off, "My granddad's an immigrant, which is kinda cool seeing as all the Cold War stuff was going on back then. He actually saw you, once," she pointed at Steve, "he said you were amazing. It's what inspired my dad to become a historian – he specialises on Captain America. He's even President of the Official Captain America Council of Appreciation in Denver, and Head of the Captain America Smithsonian Exhibition." Steve flushed.

"Really?"

Darcy nodded, grinning, "Yup. The best part is that because of the Smithsonian stuff, I get to look through the stuff they don't show off, in the back rooms – nice little letter you sent to Bucky Barnes, by the way, for sending you to a brothel for your birthday while he was away in New Jersey." Steve choked.

"Dear Jesus, they kept all our private letters from back then?"

Darcy nodded again, stepping forward as the line got shorter. She wasn't sure if she'd thrown them off their original line of questioning yet, but she wouldn't be _not_ buying the stuff in her hands- _shit._ She glanced at her pocket, which held the credit card in Peggy's name, which the list had directed her to retrieve from the care-home's safe(?). How was she going to pay for Peggy's stuff with a card clearly saying Mrs Margaret Carter?

"Hey, Steve?" Darcy decided to take a risk, focusing on Steve, because Sharon was former-SHIELD and currently CIA – she wouldn't react the same. "Why are you following me?" He stiffened, and it brought a smile to her face, because Sharon hadn't reacted. _Go Darcy_. "Steve?"

"Rogers, don't say anything," Sharon ordered, before it was finally Darcy's turn in the line. She went forwards, placing her items on the counter, the teen behind it counting how many pukka pads she'd gotten before mass-scanning one. It shortened the wait-time for paying-time to come. In front of Steve and Sharon, she used Peggy's card, but made sure not show them as much of it as she could.

"Thank-you," the teen said, handing over her bag – which she had to pay five pence for, a tragedy apparently, for most British shoppers according to Ian the Intern – which Darcy took gratefully, exiting the shop, Steve and Sharon still by her side.

"You've got Aunt Peggy's card."

"Yup."

"What is she making you do?"

Darcy glanced at Sharon, "She made me buy the two stuffed toys and a Nerf Gun, both of which are in the back of my car. Everything else is for me, because she said to go on a Random Shop."

"I severely doubt that," Sharon replied, "Aunt Peggy tries to escape the care-home on a regular basis, and what she's getting you to buy are all things she can use to get out."

Darcy raised her eyebrow sceptically. "Okay…except, a) _I'm_ the one buying things, and b) if she likes to escape, why have you put her in a defenceless little care-home? It's like…the most easiest thing to get out of in the world."

Sharon clenched her jaw, "Did I ever say it was the care-home she tries to escape? Miss Lewis, my aunt likes to skip _country_ when she leaves that place."

Darcy looked at her, then at Steve, then at Sharon. "Then why are you following me? There's nothing on the list that will help her leaves the UK." There was a short silence, before Steve let out a laugh.

"You're a distraction. She's probably already gone – sorry about this, Darcy."

Darcy waved him off, "No trouble, man." There was a bleep, and Sharon took out her phone, grimacing at the text.

"She was seen entering the nearest air-port. Come on, we've got to go." Steve waved, before the two hurried off. Darcy just went back to her car, getting into the driver's seat, only smiling at the sight of her extra passenger.

From behind her, Peggy grumbled.

"Why can't I drive?"

Darcy handed her the tape, looking back through the rear-view mirror.

"Because your license expired in ninety-eight. Now where?"

"What happened in the shop?"

Darcy waved her off. "Nothing really, okay, I just saw Sharon and Steve – they're going to the airport."

Peggy grinned, "Good girl, Natalia. Did they say which airport?" Darcy shook her head.

"The nearest one, but no name."

"That's fine, we're going to one on the other side of London, anyway. Now, drive – I'm going to miss my other great-niece's Thanksgiving dinner if I don't get out of Britain within the next week."

"Thanksgiving is in a month," Darcy informed her factually. Peggy nodded.

"I know. I have to go meet the Prime Minister of Malta in less than three days though, and they've always been very capable keeping SHIELD and all my relatives away, so they always keep me a long time. They like me."

Darcy grinned, "I could see why. Now, which airport are we going to – I've got a GPS system now. Oh, and by the way, who was the porn for?"

Peggy smiled, "My great, great nephew. He's a growing boy."

Darcy hummed, "Progressive great, great aunt, art thou, Peggy Carter."

"Indeed. And when he's done with it, Clint and Laura can have it."


End file.
